#MeToo v.s. #NotMe

by - December 21, 2017

Do Men and Women Have The Same Views About Sexual Harassment?

Photo by Samantha Sophia on Unsplash

So now we have the other perspective and other voices being heard with the #NotMe campaign. Well, are we surprised?  We shouldn't be surprised actually because men have a responsibility to be heard just as much as women; not just to admit fault but to explain their side and if needed dispute any adverse claim that can create a dark shadow over their entire livelihood and lifestyle forever.

But before we get into the #MeToo v.s. #NotMe debate, let's shine the light on another #MeToo story.

In no way shape or fashion should we use an excuse such as a person's ambition, job title, career, or financial status to prevent the truth from being told. In fact, we must begin to see that we are all on the same journey to find our detiny. We all have needs, physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual, and if we don't take the time to fulfill these needs in a timely and healthy manner way, each facet of our human existence will spiral out of control. This is what we are experiencing right now in our culture and world, the lack of ethical human reasoning, communication, and understanding.

It couldn't be more evident how 2017 has taught us to stop what we are busy doing and pay attention. Nature stopped many of us in our tracts and still continue to do so along with the way human beings communicate their thoughts in ways that have long-lasting effects. In diverse parts of the globe, we have seen the following: crime rates tripled, suicide rates quadrupled, mass shootings on the rise, terrorism becoming a norm and still basic human needs fail to be met such as the access to clean water, adequate supply of food, warranting  #worldhunger to be on the forefront of many causes including rampant shootings of unarmed black men, minorities and the mass exodus of unlawful citizens in and out of the United States. 

2017, has been a year of an all-time low of American Values and global resistance. In the United States of America, we see the plainly the two main political parties failure to understand that we were humans first long before we became Republicans and Democrats. Somehow the lack of human decency and compassion has been spewed from the horse's mouth and transcends through many parts of our culture, hence, breading a new kind of human, a hybrid maybe? Perhaps, a new kind of species, one that is only controlled by another human, one who possess control over the other based on financial status, title, and ambitious pursuits backed by the notion that we are not all equal, meaning the obvious, the weak must and will serve the powerful. 

Should this type of behavior affect us? Probably, but to those of us who know the truth, and actually have values, shouldn't we first understand that no matter how we preach about world peace, there will never be world peace? The writing is on the wall and has been for ages. The person that mankind worships is clearly not the Creator of this world, which leads us to believe that old scriptures, "those who live by the sword will die by it. "

So we are here #MeToo v.s. #NotMe, a crossroad where we come face to face with our conscience. Do we admit our weaknesses, understand how we arrived at our will to overpower others, expose our vile ambitions, selfish motives, and lack of self-control? Or Do we play the victim, fail to understand our weaknesses, miss the point of the story altogether, and allow our painful truths to replay over and over again, through another age? The choice is really ours, isn't it? 

When we share of #MeToo stories, do we see both sides, even long after realizing we were abused,  that we lost our power somewhere along the way, or that we were never protected, given the power to choose and taught how to use it? Do we get it now? Or are we still just talking the talk and not walking the walk? When we share our #NotMe stories do we clearly see also the fact that by being in a given situation puts us in a very compromising position. Okay, maybe a person may have had a pure intent at first and then because of lack of self-control somehow gives in to one's emotions and fall prey to those wild sex hormones. But, do you see how the lines can be blurred? 

So the only solution is to prepare! Yes, prepare for life anywhere, anytime and with anyone. We must use these times as a lesson, not only to punish the oppressor but to also help the one being oppressed to see that they are not a victim anymore and to evoke some sense of responsibility regardless who is at fault. You see in life, there is cause and effect, but the denominator is "Freewill."  That means we get to choose: to go, to stay, to do, and not to do! These foundational teachings should be taught early on in our stages of development.

Remember this teaching on DEFENSE MECHANISM in a psychology class or for those of us who didn't make it that far (no dig), think of this teaching as an out of body experience that has some significance and can bring you back down to earth. 

For those who ask the question why don't many victims of sexual harassment or abuse come forward sooner, perhaps this article can help answer some of your questions. (Click the link)

So to answer the question, Do Men and Women Have The Same Views on Sexual Harassment? 

No. Men are men and women are women. Both species though are destined to intertwine, connect, and become one and the same, are still very unique and possess specific individual qualities. Men have needs that are primordial and very apparent, while women exude their power in their intuitive nature, which if used, this power more can help them in times of weakness, as with the problem of toxicity of the mind, body, and soul. When women realize that they can turn this power on and off they also need to learn how to not operate in mainly on Fight or Flight mode. This is not healthy and can bread all kinds of illnesses and most importantly rob them of their sense of self, identity, self-esteem, self-worth, and the ability to know right from wrong. When women emphatically listen they are the most powerful. They are present and can see red flags, and overt a compromising situation.  Men and women must learn to stand in, and on the absolute truth. The solution to most of life's problems is men understanding women, and women understanding men. When people give respect where it is due, there will be no need for an apology. The games will cease and we can all begin to enjoy life for what it is, a journey to our destiny.


Crystal E. Melville, M.A, CPC- Author

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