Why It's Important for Parents To Tell Their Children About Their Past

by - January 14, 2018

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

When Parents Speak Up The Children Will Too

When will the cry of the single parent cease, or the lamentations of the women who weep over their estranged husbands and the deadbeat dads who neglect them and their children daily? Do we not know that words are powerful, powerful enough to end seasons and create new ones? Yes, we can say out loud that we will no longer tolerate the lies, lack of maturity and discipline from other human beings, male and female alike. It's time for all of us to draw a line in the sand so that we people know who we are and where we stand as it pertains to love, family, sexuality, spirituality, health, purpose, and our worldview. The clearer we are about the things that matter most in life, the better we will be at navigating through life.

To be honest, the only way to help our children is to be 100% truthful with them about our past. We must come to terms with our failed attempt at a relationship and how it impacted our children. Listen, we are not alone in this. From since the beginning of time, man has been made aware of the tempters snare, other weak-willed men and women, and the lust of the flesh. With all of these variables at play, how can the majority succeed at relationships unless they are relentlessly pursuing a changed mindset and transformation? You see, people will be people, so we need to have those difficult discussions with an open mind.  We must let go of the pride, shame, guilt and just speak our truth. 

Our children are tired of walking on eggshells and trying to live up to the unrealistic expectations we placed on them. How can we cause them to be silent by not speaking to them, when we know just how defeated we once felt when our parents, expected us to do what they couldn't do? Then you have some parents who speak nothing but negativity over their children's life. Some parents actually wish for bad things to happen to their own children simply because they are miserable at life because they failed to launch into the deep to find out who they really are and to seek the life they truly want to live. We have so many regretful, miserable, sorry parents walking this earth that clearly act like they don't even deserve children.

Hey, it's no use feeling sorry for ourselves, then just sit there and moping and groping. We have to rise up out of the ashes, clear the land and usher in a new season. We can only do this if we take the role of the farmer. Yes, a farmer. You see, a farmer knows when the land is ready to cleanse so that new and fresh crops can have a chance at growing. He or she puts a plan in place and waits for the right time to clear the old bad crops, cleanse the soil, then when the rain comes, they know it's time to plant the seeds for the new crops to grow and blossom. They then consistently water the crops and add fertilizer to the crops so that they have a very good chance of growing in a healthy manner. Once the set time of maturation lapses, the farmer knows that harvest times is approaching. The farmer then proceeds to prepare their place of storage to receive the bountiful harvest. 

It's no different for parents, and people in relationships in general. We must know when and how to communicate effectively so that we can break ground, and begin to extract the questions that need answering so that we can give the exact answer needed to bring forth a change in the environment of the home, marriage, workplace, company, town, city, country and world.  There is a domino effect that takes place because we are all connected. When one person in society is walking around heavy minded, and with a lost soul, they infect and affect the people around them. So it is vital that parents,  those in authority, speak up and clear the air so that all will be edified, and justified. 

In other words, it is important for parents to tell their children about their past. Children, teens, adolescents, and young adults, need to learn and understand more about their origins, family dynamics, and why their families are not intact. They need the secrets to be revealed so they can have the answers they need to move on to live their own lives, freely.

Have a listen here as this mother and daughter, who introduce their family conversations, and why it's important for parents to tell their children about their past:

We find that, aside from the obvious pains that we all go through in life, our children also need to know about familial tendencies, illnesses, curses, and the family history that also included noteworthy accomplishments, so that the child can have a balanced view of their heritage. The more information we can give our children so that they can live somewhat normal lives the better. Aren't we tired of the lies, mistrust, insecurities, fear, anxiety, pain, depression, mental illness, stigmas, biases, poverty, ignorance, and overall suffering that's plaguing our homes, schools, workplaces, towns, cities, nations, and world? What part can we all play in helping to bridge the gaps in society? 

We must all come to understand why it's important for parents to tell their children about their past. The time's up on being silent about what truly matters most in our lives. We are in control of our own destiny because of something called "free will." Remember what Peter Parker's uncle told him? "With great power comes great responsibility."

May we grow to be the parents any child will want to come to, listen to, and love.


Crystal E. Melville, M.A., CPC

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